The Rest of the StoryI started having contractions on the 19th of October. We had just moved to Iowa for medical school. My brother and his wife, Darick and Rebecca, lived there as well. Rebecca had put together a baby shower for me against my will. This is where the first contractions started. I remember I didn't tell anyone, because I wasn't due until November 1st (Jake's B-day). I figured they would go away. I went home and went to bed after the shower and kept waking up to contractions. I still didn't think I was in labor so I didn't tell Jacob. I continued to have them all day the next day, I finally called Jake at the school around 4pm and told him I was going to go have a baby if he wanted to come.
We were so excited as we drove to the hospital, I remember teasing Jake that the ultrasound could be wrong and we could really be having a girl. And if we were having a girl I wanted to name her Helen after my grandma Chapman. When we pulled up to the hospital the maternity unit was named after a lady whose name was Helen Powell. We laughed and decided it was a sign.
So I thought I would go in there pop my little baby out and be eating my jello within an hour...about 8pm that night I still hadn't had the baby and after being in labor for 24 hours I was ready for my jello and my epidural. They said no on the jello...and no on the epidural! Apparently no one told me that my platelets (something in the blood) were too low and I could get a blood clot on the spinal cord if I got an epidural. Thanks for the heads-up on that one. So after crying, wailing, and gnashing my teeth a little, I accepted the fact that I would be doing this all on my own. Luckily Jake was there and was a wonderful coach. He even told the mean nurse to leave, I was so grateful!
Then comes the long night. Looking back I wonder why they let me labor for that long? Maybe it's like the mean nurse said "These contractions, don't hurt that bad." That's weird, I didn't know she could feel them too.
I think I finally had Parker around 7am the next morning. I don't really remember, it's all a little cloudy. I remember having him and seeing this deep reddish, purple baby get whisked away from me. All of a sudden there was about twenty people in my room surrounding my baby talking in hushed tones. I knew something was wrong. Jake and I just sat there for about five minutes, not knowing what to do. I finally asked Jake to go see what was going on...more hushed tones. Jake came back and sat next to me and with his hand on my shoulder he said, "he doesn't have thumbs." And all I could say was "Why?"
Finally after what feels like hours they let me hold my baby, I found out later that he had to be resuscitated. They put this tiny baby into my arms and I can remember being so scared. Scared because he looked different, scared because I didn't know what to do or how to care for him. Scared that I wouldn't be able to love him as much as I love my other kids. I went through all these emotions in 30 seconds when they took my baby away again and off they went to the NICU to perform a million test. Oh, my little boy had to go through so much there at that hospital. After weeks of testing, poking, cutting, squeezing, listening, watching, and asking Jake and I a million questions (no, for the last time Jake and I are NOT related!) we were told that the medical opinion was that they had no idea what Parker had and why. Thanks, can I have my bill please so I can get the heck out of here?
Parker finally got to come home, but before we left the hospital the doctors told us that we would probably be back within the week and be prepared for Parker to die within the first few months of life. Okay....is that their way of saying congratulations?
Those were hard times in our life, never knowing if Parker was going to make it or not. Sometimes he would stop breathing and his lips would turn blue. He had to be on oxygen and there was this stupid pulse-ox machine that had an alarm that went off all the time. After awhile, when the alarm wasn't going off Caleb and Amy would hum the little tune of it. During all this time Jake was trying to not flunk out of medical school, when all he could think about were the different diagnoses that were being thrown at us. Parker had doctor/medical appointments everyday. Sometimes more than one a day. I remember pulling into the parking lot of a doc office once and Caleb saying "Oh good! This office has my favorite toys." Caleb was three and Amy was two at the time. Looking back I don't know how we made it through those times without having a nervous breakdown...or maybe we did...am I crazy and nobody is telling me??
I always had a vision of the type of mother I would be someday and how my kids would be. Clean faces and combed hair. Pretty, clean clothes all the time. I would smile, hum, and sing to my children and they would look into my eyes with love and smile. There would never be stress, my kids would always obey and nothing would ever go wrong...well it's sort of like that...we have faces...and hair...I never imagined being the family that everyone felt sorry for, or didn't know how to talk to, or had to pick out wheelchairs for my son, or change his diaper for the rest of his life, or so on. But I know that this was the plan for me all along. I was supposed to be Parker's mother and he was supposed to be born with severe challenges. This wasn't my plan, it was Heavenly Father's plan and guess what? His plan is better anyway. I love my life and I love my children and even though Parker adds a lot of challenges, and limitations, I would never change it. Never. Don't get me wrong, there are times I want to give up, or I question the plan, but I wouldn't change it. Parker makes me strong, he makes me slow down, he makes me tender, he makes me accepting, he makes me love others, he makes me grateful for every little blessing, he makes me rely on the goodness and mercy of others, he makes me want to be better. He is pure goodness and untouched by the things of the world. That truly amazes me. 
(Caleb had to go to the bathroom while I was taking this picture, can you tell?)
(is it wrong to be jealous of your daughter? seriously, look at that hair.)
I wish we got a better picture of Jake's jumpsuit. Think polyester. It was awesome.
Aren't we sooo photogenic?
Aunt Miss (not pictured, but was wearing a very cute dress) gave the talk on Baptism and did a penny experiment. Caleb thought it was way cool. Grandpa Freestone gave a powerful talk and testimony on The Gift of the Holy Ghost.
